Dave: Welcome to Bring Out The Talent, the podcast featuring learning and development experts discussing innovative approaches and industry insights. Tune in to hear our talent, and help develop yours. Now, here is your hosts, TTA CEO and President Maria Melfa, and talent manager Jocelyn Allen.
Maria: [00:00:00] Welcome everyone. This is Maria.
Jocelyn: Hey everyone. It’s Jocelyn. We’re back again, Maria. I am so excited that it’s finally springtime in Massachusetts. Let me tell you. Yeah, absolutely.
Maria: Today, it seemed like everybody was driving windows down. Yeah.
Jocelyn: Those driving songs that we wait for too, this time of year. Lately, I’m feeling good.
Maria: Well, when I was driving in, I heard ‘Mercy Mercy, Me’ on the phone, which is one of my favorite songs. So. That was, that was a good vibe. Good vibes today. Yes, I agree. I [00:01:00] agree. So. A recent survey revealed that 80% of employees consider emotional intelligence, crucial to workplace success. But so many business leaders struggle with where to start and how to foster emotional intelligence in the workplace. With so many organizations recognizing the importance and value of EDI.
They’re left with the question, where do we begin? In this episode, we answer those questions and learn from an expert, how to help leaders and teams become more emotionally intelligent logins. With our expert, Themum Crawford.
Themum is an accomplished hands-on learning and development consultant with deep practical experience in varied workplace environments. She has the unique ability to expand facilitation on topics and to related principles. Concepts and theories while building an open and comfortable learning environment. Welcome Themum.
Themum: Thank you, Maria. It’s a pleasure [00:02:00] being here today. It’s really looking forward to this and that song. Mercy mercy me. Oh my goodness. You don’t know. I am a singer too. I do sing.
Jocelyn: Love love. Love. And we’re so excited to have you here today. I mean, we were talking before we got started here officially, and we are just so grateful for your partnership with PTA. You are an amazing training resource and provide such insightful classes for our talent for our customers. And I’m sure for, you know, people just nationally for all the things that you’re doing and delivering. So we’re excited to talk to you about all of your experiences. Can you tell us, what got you into this field?
Like how did it all start and how has it evolved? Because I mean, even in the years that we’ve known you, you’ve taken quite a journey with us, so. Let’s talk about it. Sure.
Themum: Well, once upon a time in a land far, far away, [00:03:00] it has been a very long time. That’s like 30 years ago, really? I participated in a very intense diversity and inclusion session at my former employer, which is in the deep south. I was mesmerized.
When I attended the session, I was mesmerized by the facilitator. Who by the way now is my mentor. Able to captivate the audience.
And he skillfully raises our consciousness of diversity and inclusion. And he helped us to recognize our biases, even though we didn’t know what was called biases back in the day. But I’ve never experienced such a training session like that. And it opened my mind. It. Touched my heart and it spurred me to action. I wanted to do something. Once I left that session, I said, okay, what can I do?
I wanted to do something. Because I want to help bring people together regardless of who we are without differences are or even our life experiences. So I started, I started working, I started reading a lot about diversity and race relations and biases, and I [00:04:00] attended seminars and watch videos. I was hooked.
That’s what it was. I would just get home. So shortly after that, I was selected. As one of 15 people who went through a two-month intense very intensive introspection training program. I learned so much about myself so much that it blew my own mind about myself. So, sometime later the company gave me an opportunity to travel behind a Stace, facilitating diversity and inclusion sessions.
And I witnessed at that point, I witnessed how those sessions open the hearts and minds of my colleagues. It touched people’s lives in a way that has made a lasting impression on those two who experienced it. And during those days, it was, these sessions were like five days in a row with the same group of people.
Yes, we covered a lot during that time, unlike today, where companies sometimes can allow employees to be away from their jobs for such an extended period of time and not to mention the attention span. But most people, you know, have a [00:05:00] much shorter attention span now. But I’m still hooked. You know, so that’s where my journey began.
Jocelyn: Love that story one in 15 people that’s out. That’s outstanding. Can you tell us a little bit more about like the intensive program that you attended? Like, what was that like, and what were some of the things that you learned?
Themum: Well, Oh, wow. That’s a million-dollar question because there’s so much.
You know, I, it was, it was based on those things that we do, that we are not. We don’t realize that we’re doing things that we say we don’t realize what we’re saying and how it can impact someone and create barriers for us to effective communication. So I learned that I had some stereotypes about people.
And I was like, really me. I couldn’t believe that once we went through the session and there was some one-on-one. Interactions where people will call you out on things that they remember. You say it. On things that you’re doing. So once I start realizing that I [00:06:00] Harbor some of these things as well.
Those are the things I just want to stop. I want to squash those. But what I started to do is I said, let me put my stereotypes in front of me so that I can manage them rather than be managing me. Because once they start managing me, I might do something, a site, something. That could hurt someone’s feelings are very inappropriate and then I’ve got a backtrack.
And, and apologize for some of those things. So I wanted to better myself. And so, that’s just a snippet. Of some of the things, but very, very intense, like a two month. You know, training program. Yeah,
Jocelyn: eyeopening, like you said, area. I think
Maria: it’s incredible. Yes. Does that program still exist?
Themum: It does not. It does not just some, some portions of it, but the organization, as I said, organizations. Don’t allow employees to be away for that long period of time. So now it went from me facilitating five sessions. I mean, five days to three days to one day [00:07:00] to a couple of hours. So it was just like, it just kept.
Just to be in so much smaller. Yes. Yes. Yeah.
Jocelyn: Well, there are many different definitions for emotional intelligence. For our audience. Can you tell us what you believe emotional intelligence is and why it’s so important for leaders and teams in the workplace?
Themum: Sure. Let me start with the theory of emotional intelligence. It was introduced in the early nineties by psychologists Salovey and Mayer. But in 1995, Dr. Daniel Goldman connected the theory. With business leadership. And he popularized the term emotional intelligence in his famous book called emotional intelligence. Y can matter more than IQ. So emotional intelligence is just the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while at the same time, [00:08:00] recognizing how our emotions influence other people’s emotions. It’s about. How well we perceive and express ourselves. How we develop and maintain social relationships.
And how we cope with challenges. So in the workplace. It’s the ability of leaders and managers, because that’s the, one of the things that you’re talking about, Maria leaders and managers, what could they do? Well, it’s the ability to recognize their emotions and those of their coworkers or employees. And then discern between different feelings so that when situations arise. Everyone can adjust their own emotions and look at them. How do they react? To those emotions. So that everyone can achieve their goals effectively.
So now leaders are managers though. When they embody high emotional intelligence skills. They communicate their visions more effectively. They know how to manage their emotions and their behaviors at work. They create a safe [00:09:00] work environment for employees to share ideas and give feedback. Which also leads to high morale and employee engagement. And job satisfaction. No, they manage workplace stress and conflict carefully. And they teach their team members to do the same. So that’s why so important. For leaders to have these skills. In the workplace.
Maria: So you recently conducted a session for us and our emerging leadership series. In that session, you discuss the four fundamental competencies of emotional intelligence. Can you explain that to the audience?
Themum: Yes. Well, I’m talking about Dr. Goldman earlier and according to him, there are five key components. I actually talk about four of those, but I’ll share the fifth one that he talked about a little later in his, in his book on emotional intelligence, but these are useful skills that can improve leadership effectiveness at work. They are self-awareness [00:10:00] self-management social awareness.
And relationship management. The self-awareness. It’s about what I know about myself. And this is considered actually the foundation for all the upper competencies. Of emotional intelligence. So self-awareness means being aware of what you are feeling. Being cautious. I’ll be emotions within yourself.
And people who are self-aware. They don’t let their feelings rule them. They are confident. Because they trust their intuition. And then I’ll let their emotions get out of control. They’re also willing to take an honest look at themselves because they know what their strengths and weaknesses are, and they often work on these areas so that they can perform better.
Which leads to self-management. Which is about what I do to manage myself. It’s the ability to control or redirect. Our disruptive impulses and moods. The propensity to [00:11:00] suspends judgment. And think before we act. Sometimes we act before we think. But if we use our self-management skills, we can. We can do more thinking before we act. So people who self-manage.
They typically don’t allow themselves to become too angry or jealous. They don’t make impulsive or careless decisions. And in cases of intense and stressful situations. People who have strong self-management skills, can pause. They take a deep breath. And this helps them to remain calm. Mel social awareness, which is the third one.
It’s about what I know about others. So the first two were about myself. Then the last two are what I know about others. Treating people accordingly to the two other person’s emotional reactions means the ability to demonstrate empathy. Baeza your team players. People who have social awareness, are your team players because they rather than focus on their own successes.
They help others [00:12:00] develop and shine. They are the ones you want to manage in a dispute that you have in the workplace because they are excellent communicators. And they are masters. At building and re and maintaining relationships. They have that unique ability to accurately pick up all emotions of other people and understand what’s really going on with them. This means what they do is stop talking. They listen. And they don’t try to anticipate someone’s answer before they speak. So then finally is relationship management. This is about. What do I do? To inspire and encourage others. The ability to connect with others and build those positive relationships and respond to the emotions of others and influence others on their team. These people. Have effective interpersonal communication. They are the ones that can get the best out of others and inspire and influence others. Help them to change, help them to grow and develop. As well as [00:13:00] resolve conflict. So the person in this area. Understand and realize, the value of building relationships even when they don’t get along with someone. So then the last one is motivation. Now motivation, according to Goldman. It’s what pushes us. To achieve our goals. We feel more fulfilled. And improving the overall quality of life. So great leaders understand that they are internal motivators. And are motivated that they’re motivated by strong intrinsic values, more the than bonuses and salary increases in perks.
They communicate their motivation clearly and often to their team and employees. So these are the four components that we talk about in emotional intelligence. Let’s simply it’s about what I know about myself, how I managed myself, what I know about others and how can I inspire and encourage others.
Maria: That was a great summary.
Jocelyn: Incredible summary and [00:14:00] like eyeopening. There were so many things. I did too. I was like taking notes. How do you, I understand that this is, these are like four components of emotional intelligence, right. But we also kind of compartmentalize them in order to identify what they were exactly.
So something that resonated with me was like, you know, people who have social awareness like this is something that makes a really great team player, somebody that manages others well. So like if you’re in an organization and you’re trying to identify those highly emotional Intel or those emotionally intelligent, I’ll say it that way.
People in order to develop them as leaders, what are you looking for in order to identify that? How do you figure out who those people are and, and what strengths they have in those areas?
Themum: Well, you could ask a series of questions. Some of those open-ended questions. How, how do you. Get along with people. What are some of the things that you look for in others?
How do you build relationships? And have them [00:15:00] talk through. Th the steps, the approach that they take, and getting to know one another. Sometimes with social awareness. It could be. Those connections that we make. With one another, but how do you connect with one another? Do you, how you. What does it, what, when you say you’re going to listen to someone, what does that look like? How do you listen to yourself? Listen, just only with your ears. What do you listen also with your heart?
So things, questions like that. We’ll help. Employees or leaders. See. What type of social awareness skills are you? Are you demonstrating?
Jocelyn: So we’re all human. We all experience a wide range of emotions, but let’s dive into emotional intelligence and like behaviors, and how this affects people’s performance overall. What are the positive and negative aspects of emotional intelligence, or I guess I’ll say emotions in the workplace and, and maybe losing control or using them productively, you know, what does that look like?
Themum: Yes, you absolutely correct. Correct. Jocelyn, when you [00:16:00] talk about, we have a wide range of emotions because we are emotional creatures. And we communicate our emotions constantly, whether we mean to, or not. Emotions, show up in our body language. They show up in our word choice. How tone of voice, even our actions. It’s just a part of who we are. So sometimes organizations say, you know, we need to leave our emotions at the door, check it at the door. That’s a tall request for employees because it’s nearly impossible to ask someone not to bring your emotions to work. Emotional labor and emotional work.
They both have negative aspects to them, which include feeling stress at work. Feeling frustration. Oh, even exhaustion. And that leads to burnout. There are negative consequences that can result in low morale. Absenteeism. High turnover. Just overall, the quality of your product or service might even suffer [00:17:00] because of that.
But employees who experienced positive emotions. They’re shown to have higher job satisfaction and higher morale. Greater job performance. And an even greater commitment to the organization, they want to stay. Rather than leave organizations.
Jocelyn: So there are some positive ways that your emotion can affect you overall like in the workplace because it’s good to be connected to those things and make heartful decisions, you know when a scenario presents itself correctly. So what are the things that prevent that from being an actuality? What are the things that can hijack an emotional, like emotional intelligence in an individual or in a team?
Like how, what. What do we do in those scenarios?
Themum: Yes, you’re right. There are some things that can, and it’s like the word you use hijack because what you’re referring to is the MC Della hijack. That’s what it is. It’s their Michela hijack, their Mykola. It’s in the middle part of our brain. And it’s responsible [00:18:00] for responding quickly to a threat, whether that threat is real or not. And it’s often personal is the emotional response. It’s immediate and it is overwhelming and can be totally out of proportion with the actual situation because it’s triggered a significant emotional threat. So in other words, it’s when someone loses it. We’ve had a situation and we lose it or seriously overreact to something.
Someone said, or someone does. We sometimes say they’ve lost their mind. It’s just. Do you see what Jocelyn just said? What she just did. She just lost her mind. Well, that’s actually what happens. We’ve actually lost the ability to manage our reactions to what triggered us. These days, most of us are encountering so many situations that we’ve never had to even think about the overall pandemic. Wearing mask versus no mask. The rise in food and gas prices, [00:19:00] violence in the schools and workplaces. There are so many pressures and stresses of life work in a relationship. There’s anger. There’s aggression, and anxiety. Feared. These are all emotional triggers. So when we are faced with any of these situations, they’re considered threats.
And unless we disrupt this hijack and use our self-management skills. We may be unable to think clearly during the hijack. So, yes, they are some positive things, but a lot of things, when we’re talking about emotional intelligence, we are referring to those things that sometimes we can’t control or we don’t manage effectively. And a very recent example of this is the now. And from a slap. Yeah. Everybody is talking about it. Even this past. We don’t talk Jada… No. [00:20:00]
Yes. Yes. And you’re right. Everybody’s talking about it now. Even this past Monday, I was listening to Dr. Phil. He had a panel of experts on the show, examining Smith’s facial expression. His body language is word choice. And more importantly, the action he took. But the consequences of his action.
It really is now far greater than what we probably could ever have imagined. Well, wouldn’t it be great though? If, if we could just identify our triggers. Ahead of time. you know, most of the time we don’t even realize what we’ve done until this is too late. But now let’s go to the workplace though.
You know, for example, you may be talking to a team member. And they appear not to be listening to you. Well, they ignore what you’re saying, or maybe talk over you. Or there may be a coworker who keeps talking to you while you’re trying to concentrate on work. That could be a trigger. And then the mic the look can take over.
And now your [00:21:00] brain has been hijacked. And you snap. You start shouting at them. Or you say a few choice, colorful words, Beth, you may later regret. Yeah, those are some of the things that can happen. When we, when we are hijacked, no. Well, there, there are some ways that we can, we can cope with the hijack. You know, if you’re interested in hearing some of those, I’d be happy to share them with you. Okay. Great. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, a couple of things. You can do is the first name the emotion. You know, if you, whatever you’re feeling. Whether it’s sadness or anger or whatever, just say I’m, I’m sad. I’m mad.
This is not the right time. And it could be enough to make this feeling less intense. And then bring your brain back to relapse, to a rational mindset. Or you can do that six-second rule. Six-second name to this late to delay. Any kind of response for about six seconds. To prevent the [00:22:00] amygdala from taking control.
And causing that emotional reaction. Next to breed. Just. Take a moment and breed breathing that can be powerful. It can be a powerful tool. When there’s a heightened situation and taking control of breathing. Stressful situations cannot allow thoughtful decisions. Which are not driven by our emotions.
And then you could get up, change the setting, move around. You don’t see things from a rational perspective. Or you can also share something with a trusted friend or colleague. No, when you’re feeling a lot of emotions sharing these feelings. With a trusted person. Can perhaps help our amygdala feel less threatened.
And it can encourage once again, the use of the thinking part of our brain, because that’s what happens. We stop thinking and we start acting or reacting. If you will.
Jocelyn: Right. That’s what the heart tells us to do. Again, the hijack words coming again. It really just overtakes [00:23:00] everything. Cause that’s where you feel that right. We feel it. The brain is so much, it’s like, it’s there. It’s pretty much telling my heart what to do. Like whatever science.
All right, is what tells us what to do. Yes. Very interesting. Very interesting. I like what you put science to it. I think that resonates with me a lot because it’s not just a kind of theory at that point. What we’re doing and kind of like, we’ll imagine this and how you feel in this direction. Yeah. So that’s all relatable content and necessary for kind of making those connections. But if you understand and literally there’s a part of your brain that will create this menace for you. If you don’t just kind of like take a step back and breathe it all in. You realize what’s actually going on. I love making those connections and kind of bringing it back to us, something that’s home and makes sense. So, yeah. For that.
Maria: Themum, I gotta have to hire you too. With my husband. Every day. [00:24:00] That’s his biggest problem, I guess. Road rage. Sometimes my goodness.
Themum: You know, sometimes I tell people that sometimes in some of my training sessions, I talk about it and I, so I, so like, As you had mentioned to Jocelyn about something that’s relatable. And I ask people, imagine you’re in traffic, you’re going, you’re going somewhere. You need to get there at a certain time.
And you’re in traffic. And the next thing you know, someone has cut you off. They cut you off in the middle of the traffic. And now as you, that’s you. You’re encountering this. You’re hoping that they’re looking through the rearview mirror because you are so animated with your guest, your neck, your head rolling. And you’re saying all these words and you pointed that finger.
This finger, but you’re pointing a finger. They operate and let them know how, how it, how frustrated you are. And you’ll see all kinds of words for them. That means that is okay. My Mykola has taken over. And I’m, I’ve lost control. But then, you know, there there’s a person called Colomum. Columum [00:25:00] wrote a book called thinking fast and slow and mess. How fast bringing this thinking there that’s that Nicola, but then he also talked about that system too.
Banking best that slow rational part of our brain, where if we’re in traffic and someone cuts us off. And then we happened to look in the back seat and realize that we got some little people in the back seat and we’re like, oh, He would turn around and we’d look at them and say, now don’t. We ever say that.
All right, just kidding. I was just joking. Yes, that’s what we do. The ability. We have the ability to self-manage.
Jocelyn: But you’re right. It’s that extra second. But you take it and be like, what’s actually going on here. Right? Yeah, right now we’ll teach you that when you’re older.
Themum: I love it.
Maria: Well, my daughter is 16 years old right now, and she is in the process of getting her permit. So I always say to my husband, this is really not a great example.
Jocelyn: Dial it in.
Maria: Exactly right.
Themum: I have to have some cue cards, Maria. [00:26:00]
Jocelyn: Sure. It needs to be listening to mercy me.
Maria: I think that’s, that’s what it sets him off, more than. Right. To the point where I hate driving with him.
Jocelyn: Yes, we need to give him an emotionally intelligent IQ test.
Themum: That’s it.
Jocelyn: I’m super curious about that. Cause I’m wondering like, I often think too, that may be a lot of people feel as though they are emotionally intelligent because they have friends and family members that they get along with. Right. Because isn’t it natural to think that. But realistically, I think emotional intelligence is all scenario based and what you do with the particular situation that you’re in. So I’m very curious about like what my actual ETQ is. So like, are there assessments, like, what are you recommend? I want to take one.
Themum: You, you, you mentioned EQ and for those who are not familiar [00:27:00] with EQ is an emotional quotient, that’s what it means. And that is the assessment and it can be done separately. It can be there free, there are a lot of those that are free on the market right now. So I’d encourage anyone just to take any of those online and they’re not, they don’t take very long to do. But I probably recommend the emotional quotient inventory. 2.0. This one is based on the book by the same name by Dr. T Bradbury. It’s called emotional quotient inventory. 2.0. It’s the skill base. Assessment. And I like it because it’s based on the four.
Emotional intelligence, intelligent components that I shared with you earlier. It will develop. From 20 years of global research. And it was the first scientifically validated assessment. And now. The emotional quotient inventory, 2.0 is the most extensively used emotional intelligence assessment in the world. So [00:28:00] that one that, yeah, I would highly recommend.
Maria: They really need to do this teaching and training at our kids’ schools. Yes. Training when they were younger. I agree. I’m reading. Freshman’s.
Jocelyn: I think it’s, I think it’s just as important as an ad. As any other scale or. The knowledge that is being taught in school. Right? I think that in recent years we’ve come to realize that there maybe are some shifts that need to be made based on like what’s completely missing in the adult world of living versus what we never use. Yeah. From the. Like the children’s style of learning that we thought. Right. And I agree with you, Maria. I think that emotional intelligence is definitely one of those things and I, I mean, please teach me how to do my taxes.
Themum: Don’t talk about that.
Jocelyn: I actually don’t want to go there either, but no. I just, you know, dropping a little. little chunk there for you.
Maria: It really is crazy because, you know, my daughter knows [00:29:00] at this point in her life that she has no desire to go into the medical field and looking at her biology class and having to sit there and memorize all these terms that she’ll never use again. Thinking of all the importance of. Developing your emotional intelligence skills and how that affects every single thing you will be doing every right.
Themum: With you everywhere. You’re going to no matter, I mean, even if you’re awakened, when you get up in the morning or whenever the time you get up.
Whether it’s drinking coffee, or water. Yeah, cold caffeine beverage, taking a walk. During laundry, whatever it is he is with you. We have to be intentional about practicing our IES skills on a daily basis with family, friends, coworkers, and wherever we go. You’re right. And it’s about. Being intentional and practicing them all the time. So I’m in agreement. I’m in total agreement that if it could be taught earlier, in, grade school. I think we’ll have. A lot less [00:30:00] of people emoting in those negative ways.
Maria: They just have no self-realization. I think it’s to start young and start realizing, okay, this is, these are the skills that I need to develop. Exactly. And it would be much better off than having to change somebody when they’re in their forties 50 sixties and later, right.
Jocelyn: And it gives them the confidence to navigate in a certain way too. So that, they can manage expectations for themselves, right. And where they want to go on. The culture when they’re hearing those knows and whatever it is that they’re attempting to tackle. Yeah. It’s the most multi-faceted skill that you can add characteristics, I’ll call it what you can have.
Themum: I believe that. I called them requisite skills. It’s like a second that you need, you know before you manage anything else because you know, you, you, you, you manage things. You know, but you, you direct, you trained, you develop people.
Right. You know, you inspire people and this is what this is about. It’s. Not about the technical aspect of work and. And, and [00:31:00] whatever, but it’s about people so we can manage those things and manage ourselves first. That’s the first foundation manage ourselves. No, what those triggers are. I think it would help a long way.
Maria: We talked about some of the negative consequences. So when you are working with companies, are there any examples that you could share about what happens when you have a leader that has low emotional intelligence?
Themum: That’s a good question, Maria. Then, when we’re in a company, You know, it doesn’t matter the size.
Leaders can fall into several traps. One of them is that they get so busy. That they ignore the cues of employee dissatisfaction. There are times when. When leaders are more reactive than proactive regarding certain situations. And sometimes they allow conflict to go unresolved because they are so overwhelmed themselves.
So when things start to unravel from within the company, Employees may feel that their emotional [00:32:00] bank account, if you will, is empty. So they disengage. And they do as little as possible. To make it through the day. They become so dissatisfied and discouraged that. It leads to more mistakes. And even higher costs for the company.
So an example of this actually was when apple outlined its 2021 returned to office plans. They said that employees would be expected to return to the office for the majority of the work week, rather than work remotely. It’s what they’ve been doing for some time. And employees. They didn’t embrace this.
This, and they clearly stated in a letter, they wrote a letter to the CEO. That they felt not just unheard. But at times actively ignored. Now there’s probably a lot more to the story that I’m sharing here. But the way this decision was handed down. And wait, what’s a handle. Seemed to be a lack of empathy.
And the [00:33:00] resulting employee backlash. It made the headlines. It’s where I got the inflammation problem and it likely cost the company a number of valuable employees. Yeah. So, so what happened here in short is. Apple displayed a lack of emotional intelligence. So the consequences can be great.
And it can result in low employee engagement. High turnover rate. Miscommunication misunderstanding. Even conflict. Time wasted. And in general inefficiency. Because when employees feel under. Undervalued. Or if they feel their contributions don’t matter. These feelings, impact morale. So guess what happens?
They start to brush up on their resumes. They start planning their escape. Nope. They began to seek organizations. That is intentional about practicing AI on a daily basis. So, yeah, there, there are a [00:34:00] lot of consequences.
Maria: That’s an interesting example, too. Yeah. Share with us today. Yes. Yes, you do see that happening. Now the organization’s saying we want everybody back full time.
It is interesting because I have always liked to have everybody in the office on. Well, I guess, you know, before the pandemic, because I felt like it was just so important for teamwork and collaboration, but I’ve learned so much over the years that, I mean, I think it’s, I love having the best of both worlds and how they operate now, as we let the employee choose on what they want to do.
So we have some employees that come in every day. We have some that come in one day a week and we certainly have a lot of employees that don’t even live in the state. So they’re never coming into the office, but I think you really get a lot more from your employees when you can respect and understand their situation.
Themum: And that’s exactly what it is. And that’s what I think Apple ran into that. [00:35:00] That situation, they didn’t really understand their employee’s situation and everybody has a different situation. So we learned a lot through these last three years. You know, given that we were out, we were not face-to-face in the workplace. We were working remotely and people now become comfortable with that.
And now they have rearranged their lives. So we’ve got to listen to that and see, you know, what, what can we do to work within those parameters?
Jocelyn: I can attest to what Maria was saying about allowing employees to kind of manage their own expectations of schedule in that regard because when it comes down to it like I have a toddler, I have a three-year-old. And they’re busy and I’m trying to get him active in a lot of staff and they’re also gross. So they get sick all the time and they have doctor’s appointments like crazy and all this kind of stuff. And when it comes down to it, like if I’m able to work from home, pop out for a doctor’s appointment.
Or whatever it is like this, I can make that switch anytime I need to. And so I’m just speaking, not [00:36:00] only to Maria, like thank you for that. I say it all the time and I adore you for it because I saw it. Like how the adjustments are being made as things continued to stay on track. So like, I just appreciate you so much for that, but also to other organizations that like you put that trust in your employees and they will give it right on back to you. … they will get it right on back. Kind of sheer appreciation and wanting to maintain that expectation for themselves. So that’s my little 2 cents on the matter for everyone … To wrap things up since we talked about so many wonderful things, we’ve talked about strategy, we’ve talked about the neuroscience of it. We’ve talked about what it actually means to be emotional and emotionally intelligent.
So what about those people who are really taking their first steps to kind of thinking about this in their organization? What are some tips and tricks that you can give somebody listening to say? Here’s how you can get started today on thinking about this a [00:37:00] little bit more.
Themum: Intentionally. Yes. Thank you. Jocelyn. There, there are a few things that people can do first. The good news is that AI can be learned.
This is something we can be learned. And there are things that we have to be intentional about. So I can recommend let’s say five things. For your listeners to do, practice communicating in an emotionally intelligent way. Burst. Acknowledge. Knowledge your feelings, but also acknowledge other person’s feelings.
So the next time you noticed the one expressing strong emotion. Ask them about it. Then listen, intently and summarize what you heard from them. This way, you’re validating their emotions and you’re demonstrating empathy. And helping them feel understood. Second, you can take notice of your thoughts, and emotions.
This means you need to slow down. Take in all this in front of you. So that you can understand how are your emotions influenced your behavior? I don’t hold grudges. Holding on to a grudge. Means [00:38:00] you’re holding on to stress. Any emotionally intelligent people know how to avoid this at all costs. Because they know how to slow themselves down. They use their self-management skills to do so.
Get some sleep. Sleep. It is very I get an adequate amount of sleep because of your self-control, of your attention. And memory. All reduced. When you don’t get enough sleep. Which is often the one thing that keeps you from getting things out of control. And then when you care, show your care. When you appreciate something that someone else has done, let them know about it. Don’t wait until later. Tell other people about it. Tell them specifically cause your praise will build some fierce loyalty. And it will inspire your people to work even harder. So the last thing I’d say is humility. Humility can be a wonderful quality. It doesn’t mean that you [00:39:00] are shy Aleppo. Or lack self-confidence. When you practice humility, you can be quietly competent about it, and you give others a chance to shine. You put focus on them. Don’t worry too much about getting praise for yourself.
It’s all these things. For me, it wraps up with leading by example. No, that positive example.
Jocelyn: Excellent. A little nutshell nugget lead by example. I love that. Excellent examples. The mum you are so wonderful. And to continue on this wonderful mess. We’re going to now break into our TTA 10 segments.
So we broke this down for you a little bit earlier, but we have a new segment for season two of our Bring Out The Talent podcast. It is the TTA 10. So what I’m going to take 10 random questions that I have aligned here for [00:40:00] you. They’re fun. They’re playful, nothing to put you too badly on the spot. We’re going to have 90 seconds to get through all of them. And hopefully, we get the questions answered in 90 seconds because if we do, we will have a celebration.
If we do not, there might be a wonky sound effect. You know, showcases that we did not make it in time, but we’ll be gentle about it. We want you to feel encouraged to come back better and stronger next time, south. I had this point theme um, Are you ready to take it away?
All right, David, give me a thumbs up. When the clock has started.
Jocelyn: All right. Which of the seven dwarves do you most relate to?
Jocelyn: What is 19 minus six.
Jocelyn: What was your favorite subject in school?
Jocelyn: Who would you cast to play you in a movie about your life?
Themum: Viola Davis.
Jocelyn: Oh [00:41:00] girl. Yes. What is your go-to karaoke song?
Themum: Ooh. Ooh, that’s a good one. Um, Oh, what’s the Bruno Mars song. I can’t think of it. That’s the way. Uptown funk. Yes. Yes. That’s the one.
Jocelyn: If you can learn a brand new skill today, what would it be?
Themum: How to relax.
Jocelyn: What’s your favorite place that you’ve ever traveled to?
Themum: Ooh. Hawaii.
Jocelyn: If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Jocelyn: Well, if you’re on a deserted island, you should be all set. What’s your favorite reality TV show?
Themum: Oh, my goodness. Am I, you’re going to, you’re going to make me say this. Real Housewives.
Jocelyn: See you’re amongst our people here. Which zoo animal would you most like to have as a pet?
Themum: Pet. Oh, my goodness. Well, the koala bear. They just sold [00:42:00] cuddliest it’s just something they just.
Jocelyn: Yeah. Cool. Yeah, I dig it. All right. Here we go. We made it through the 10 David what’s our final time.
Dave: Well, as you know, the challenge was to make it in 90 seconds or less theme completed the TTA 10 in 89 seconds. That’s right. You are a TTA 10 champion. You may share.
And there’s more. Hold on. You may shout this from the rooftops, amaze your friends and include it on your resume. Now that you have achieved this coveted honor, you’ll be, you will be respected and loved by captains of industry heads of state, and Tik Tok influencers for some reason. The sun will shine brighter for you. Food will taste better and life will have new meaning congratulations.
Themum, You are a [00:43:00] TTA 10 champion.
Themum: I love that. Oh, hold on. There’s more.
Maria: I love it. We could see why our clients love you so much.
Themum: It has been such a pleasure. I enjoyed being here today and talking about the subject that I really enjoy. And passionate about. So thank you for the opportunity.
Maria: Thank you so much.
Jocelyn Allen: To learn more visit us at thetrainingassociates.com. We’ll see you later.