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As AI takes over more routine and technical tasks, emotional intelligence is emerging as one of the clearest differentiators between average and exceptional performers. This post recaps a conversation from TTA’s Bring Out the Talent podcast with executive coach Monique DeMonaco, covering why EQ is trainable, how it should shape feedback and change management, and what it means for leadership development going forward.
In the latest episode of Bring Out the Talent, TTA’s Maria Melfa and Jocelyn Allen spoke with executive and emotional intelligence coach Monique DeMonaco about a topic that continues to define effective leadership: emotional intelligence in the workplace. As artificial intelligence takes on more of the technical and transactional work, the conversation makes a compelling case that human-centered skills are becoming the clearest differentiator between average and exceptional performance.
The episode opens with a statistic that frames the entire discussion: 90% of top performers score high in emotional intelligence. Not technical certifications. Not tenure. Emotional intelligence, or EQ. This is not a new finding, but it is landing differently in the current environment. As AI systems take over more routine tasks, the abilities that were once labeled “soft skills” — reading a room, staying composed under pressure, communicating difficult feedback, building trust — are increasingly viewed as strategic capabilities rather than personality traits.
Monique’s central distinction is between transactional and transformational value. Artificial intelligence, she explains, is transactional: it retrieves information efficiently and can even be motivating, but it does not create transformation. Transformation happens through connection and relationship, which remain distinctly human. She also notes that technical skills and certifications have a shrinking shelf life; training that is current today may be outdated within a few years. Emotional intelligence, by contrast, is durable. It does not stay confined to the workplace. It carries into every relationship a person has, which is why she frames it as a long-term investment rather than a one-time credential.
This distinction connects to a broader point raised throughout the episode: professional and personal success is most closely tied to the quality of one’s relationships, not to output or credentials alone. Monique illustrated this with an example from her own family. Her son, a recent college graduate, secured a strong job opportunity not through a job board or an application portal, but through an in-person conversation and a resulting introduction. The example underscores a theme the hosts return to several times: as convenience-driven, digital-first habits reduce everyday face-to-face interaction, professionals may be missing relationship-building opportunities that are difficult to replicate through digital channels alone.
A recurring question in the conversation is whether emotional intelligence can actually be developed or whether it is simply innate. Monique draws a clear distinction here: IQ tends to remain relatively stable across a person’s life, while EQ can be built and strengthened at any age using approaches grounded in brain science. She acknowledges that people begin with different starting points, but maintains that anyone can increase their emotional intelligence with the right tools, techniques, and consistent practice. She frames it as an ongoing discipline rather than a skill that is “completed,” noting that she continues to work on her own emotional intelligence after more than two decades in the field.
The discussion also addresses how emotional intelligence shows up in the feedback process, an area where many organizations struggle. Monique’s recommendation is to minimize “you” statements when delivering constructive feedback and to instead frame feedback around shared goals, organizational values, or team priorities. This reframing reduces defensiveness, since feedback framed around collective standards is generally received as more constructive than feedback framed as personal criticism.
She also discusses how to assess whether an individual is genuinely open to coaching, noting that a skilled coach can typically identify within the first few sessions whether someone has the awareness and motivation required to benefit from the process. In cases where that openness is absent, she suggests that continuing an ineffective coaching engagement serves neither the individual nor the organization.
Change management is another focus area. Monique explains that leaders who navigate organizational change effectively tend to lead with transparency, communicating openly about what is known and what is not yet known. Ambiguity, left unaddressed, tends to generate fear and resistance among teams. On an individual level, she describes emotional intelligence as closely tied to one’s relationship with change itself: professionals with higher EQ tend to accept change as a constant, while resistance to change is frequently associated with lower emotional regulation.
Maria and Jocelyn also raised the topic of EQ blind spots, particularly the gap between how professionals believe they are perceived and how they are actually perceived by colleagues. Monique notes that this gap is one of the most common issues she encounters in her coaching practice, and that 360-degree assessments can be a valuable tool for surfacing it, but only when the individual has enough self-awareness to accept and act on the feedback. Without that foundation, she cautions, an assessment becomes an investment with little return. This point reinforces a theme that runs throughout the episode: awareness is the prerequisite for meaningful behavioral change, not an afterthought to it.
The broader takeaway from this episode is that emotional intelligence in the workplace should no longer be treated as a supplementary soft skill. As automation and AI continue to absorb transactional tasks, the organizations and leaders who invest deliberately in self-awareness, resilience, and relationship-building are positioned to maintain a meaningful advantage.
For L&D and talent leaders, TTA’s professional development programs offer a practical next step, reinforcing that EQ development is not a one-time training event but an ongoing capability that should be built into leadership development strategy.
The full conversation with Monique DeMonaco is available now on Bring Out the Talent.
