Beyond Conflict and Competition: Building Collaborative Relationships

Many of us have been in workplaces where there seems to be an unhealthy level of competition among staff members. Competition for attention, recognition, financial resources, increased headcount, increased equipment or supplies, increased customer count.  And, almost invariably, the competition for resources results in conflict or even open hostility.  Sadly, it doesn’t take much to generate the hostility.

I once conducted a version of the “Prisoner’s Dilemma” exercise for a company. The exercise’s whole point is that in order for both teams to meet the game’s objective (which wasn’t for one team to “win”), the teams had to work together—collaborate.  Unfortunately, toward the end of the exercise, and after both teams had agreed on an approach that would allow both teams to achieve the objective, one team reneged and went for the stereotypical “win.”

While many people would say, “Well, it’s just a game,” a woman on the “losing” team had to work closely with the guy on the “winning” team who engineered the deception—a guy from another department.  Several months later I had both of those folks in another class I was teaching and the woman was still angry. The guy, of course, still thought the whole thing funny. However, work relationships between the departments were soured and others in the class told me privately that information flow and required cooperation between those departments had been compromised.

The Roots of Competition and Conflict

Competition is based on the old assumption of a “fixed pie” where, in order for me to get what I want, I have to take it from you or make sure you don’t get it before I do. It’s also based on the “carrots and sticks model,” where rivalries are encouraged, “top performers” are rewarded, and others are ignored or pushed aside. That kind of dog-eat-dog environment is corrosive to group cohesion and overall performance.

Another way to look at it is from research into “mindset.” When employees see competition as something that’s always been done (a “fixed mindset”), then little changes. If, however, they adopt a “growth mindset” of collaboration where success is shared and celebrated then there’s an opportunity for positive change.

And, because individuals focus on and are rewarded for their own success, group cohesion, and unit performance suffer from a lack of information-sharing and cooperation. Employee burnout often results from the constant pressure to “outperform” each other.

Does that mean that competition is always bad? No, but it has to be used judiciously rather than as your primary means of getting things done. Competition has been championed for so long by so many that it’s not really questioned as a business “operating system.” Yet, unbridled competition inevitably produces winners and losers—not something you need inside your organization.

A Harvard Business Review article reporting the results of a study on the pros and cons of competition among employees suggests that “…if leaders want to ensure that competition unleashes creativity and not unethical behavior, they must resist the temptation to lead through fear.”

For an interesting take on competitive vs collaborative ideas and approaches to business, take a look at Annette Simmons’ book, Drinking From A Different Well: How Women’s Stories Change What Power Means In Action.”  As noted in the book’s description,

“Building effective power structures depends on accommodating both competitive and collaborative narratives — both are vital to decision-making. When women’s narratives are part of the conversation, conflict suddenly becomes a creative resource instead of a power struggle. Drinking from a Different Well guides readers in how to investigate the core assumptions needed to shift business, government, and even family cultures from an exclusive mindset of win-lose to one of collaborative narratives. Learning how to toggle back and forth between both mindsets not only honors multiple perspectives, it endows decisions with a sense of fairness for all involved.”

Daniel Pink, in his New York Times Best-Selling book, “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us,” discusses in great detail the old ideas of carrots-and-sticks work environments versus approaches that tap into modern workers’ need for autonomy, mastery, and purpose. Take a quick look at his research findings via his TED video.

Benefits of Collaboration Over Competition

Among the benefits of collaboration versus competition:

• Stronger workplace relationships.
• Knowledge sharing rather than knowledge hoarding or protection.
• Broader decision-making involves greater numbers of people instead of just those in leadership positions.
• Trust and respect are much more likely. A competitive environment tends to foster an “us vs them” or “me first” environment.
• Conflict resolution can be enhanced because mediation, compromise, and effective communication are hallmarks of resolving conflicts.

Former state of California administrative law judge, Jim Tamm, is the author of Radical Collaboration: Five Essential Skills to Overcome Defensiveness and Build Successful Relationships. He provides a roadmap for how to move from winner-take-all competition toward a collaborative work environment that engenders trust, and positive work relationships, and emphasizes long-term over short-term outcomes. His TED video offers a great overview of his real-world experiences.

Challenges of Collaboration over Competition

• The biggest challenge is that It can be a time-consuming process because of meetings, discussions, information-sharing, and joint decision-making.
• The workload can be “uneven” if some people are asked to contribute more than others.

So, What Do I Do to Encourage Collaboration?

Without going into detail on each suggestion, here are some ideas:

• Establish and constantly talk about your shared vision and mission. What is your long-term goal (vision) and how are you going to get there (mission)?
• Build a workplace culture of trust—which creates a sense of belonging. Encourage employees to feel safe to ask questions, offer opinions, and even admit mistakes without fear of punishment or judgment.
• Encourage emotional intelligence. It’s sometimes called EQ (emotional quotient, a necessary adjunct to intelligence quotient or IQ). EQ helps people recognize their emotions, and realize that emotions are a natural part of being human and that emotions have a great deal of positive energy in them. Learning to develop empathy for yourself and others. One of my favorite books is Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations, by Robert Cooper and Ayman Sawaf. It’s an engaging read about the necessity of emotions in the workplace, how to accommodate them, and how to leverage them for collaboration.
• Reward both individual and team success. Of course, it’s important to recognize individuals, but it’s also important to recognize and reward group efforts.
• Shift the organizational mindset from “Fixed” to “Growth.” By that, I mean shifting from “winning” to “growing.”
• Focus on long-term relationships over short-term outcomes. The stereotypical corporate focus on quarterly outcomes as the expense of long-term outcomes is something that should be considered.
• Consider shared decision-making. Of course, someone in a top leadership role might have to make the final decision. But, including as many people in the roles of gathering information and evaluating what should be considered for the ultimate decisions helps everyone feel part of the process. For those who have a concern about shared decision-making, most people just want to be heard; they don’t want “control.”

Not a panacea, but certainly worth consideration

Increased collaboration in the workplace has the strong possibility of changing how you work, whether your employees are engaged and how they feel about their work, increasing employee retention, and even hold the possibility of fundamentally changing your corporate culture.

Leaders must show the way. Work with your team to have an honest discussion about the current work environment and how to maximize the benefits of collaboration. One-on-one discussions with employees can also elicit information that they might not want to share in a group setting.

Do a bit of research, give it some thought, and encourage your people to be a part of a discussion. You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens.